Its Official

Reading [a major UK based internet car forum, lets call it Petrolheads] you’d not been blamed for forming the impression that every Official Porsche dealer was exclusively staffed by crooks solely employed for the purpose of swindling any idiot fool enough to enter the premises. Not only that, but their products are over-priced tat that self-combust and disintegrate no sooner than the stingy warranty expires.


I beg to differ. Before Christmas I took my Cayman for its first service at AFN Guildford. They invited me to drink their coffee and were happy for me to use their showroom as an office for a couple of hours while I waited for a lift. The staff were friendly and courteous, and in some cases very easy on the eye.

They cleaned the car's interior (I asked them not to do the bodywork) and threw in a bottle of screen-wash. Once the service was completed, I was advised that brakes had 6-8k miles in, and so did the tyres but that was perfectly normal and didn't need changing now. They noticed that one horn wasn't working, and removed the front PU to fix it under warranty. While the PU was off, they cleared out the leaves from the radiators and warned me to keep an eye on them. I paid the fixed amount.

After filling up with Shell SUL, I took the long way the 60 miles home, south through Surrey into West Sussex. The roads were deserted, the car was superb, with plenty of performance for the high speed downland roads, and the drive was utterly memorable.

I drive an old Golf during the week, and every time I get back into the Cayman its like getting into a GT3. It also does an easy 30mpg, hasn't cost me a penny in repairs, and I still turn around and look at it every time I get out and walk away.

Its easily the best car I've ever owned The List and I've thoroughly enjoyed every one of the 16k miles so far. Right now I'm planning a raid for next summer to the new museum in Stuttgart.

Porsche have produced a great ownership proposition, internet knockers can't ruin that experience for me.


SS7

Old Spanky

Incredibly, Max Mosley is making noises about staying on for a further term as head of the FIA. Apparently, the job is too big for any other mere mortal.

This, of course, is the man who:

- Insisted that Indy '05 be run as a total farce, when it so easily could have been remedied. This caused the world's biggest car market to drop out of Formula One.

- Raised the costs of F1 by imposing a mandatory switch to V8s. Did he really believe that the great expense of Formula One was because they were using too many pistons?

- Chased away one of the sport's most committed and competitive sponsors: Michelin

- Has not said one word to try to keep the sport in its traditional venues, which are still amongst its biggest markets: France, US, Canada, Italy, Germany, and instead has smiled away as races were taken to such mass-car-buying hotspots as Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, and Singapore.

- Allowed his pal Bernie to cash out and put the commercial rights in the hands of marginal operators with no motor sport experience or commitment. Then, when they went bust, he allowed that to happen a second time! This may, or may not have something to do with the multi-million dollar payment Max received from Bernie a few years ago.

- Brought the sport into disrepute through a despicable personal attack on Jackie Stewart, one of the sports greatest ambassadors, a survivor of an age when 300 drivers died, and a 3 times world champion.

- And last - but not least - disgraced himself and brought deep embarrassment to the sport through his personal debauchery. And when he was found out, instead of quietly stepping aside, he undertook a totally selfish, highly visible campaign to cling to his job - despite many calls for him to resign, including one from HONDA - which induced all of the sport's investors to ask whether they wanted to be associated with an organisation headed by such a dubious, tainted character.

What a great guy.

SS7

Skin

Why is it that today's cars, which bear almost no relation to those built a century ago in dawn of motoring, still share one single component; a seat covered in dead animal?


Don’t get me wrong, dead animals have their place; its just that covering car seats isn’t one of them.


The stuff is freezing cold in the winter, likely to give you 1st degree burns on a hot day, and is slippery all the year around. It was originally used because cars usually didn’t have roofs, and needed a seat covering that would stand up to the elements. By the time cars had roofs, we’d all moved on. Take a look in the back seats (where the owners sat) of an upmarket saloon from the 20’s and you’ll find rich fabrics; the skin was reserved for the paid help who did the driving.



I appreciate that previous attempts to find a replacements for the stuff haven’t been all that successful; the 50s gave us vinyl, and the 60’s leatherette. Those efforts simply recreated the weak points of cow skin, and removed the one good point; the nice smell. A 70’s velour in beige might not have been very much better, but at least you didn’t skid across it before hitting the (vinyl) door trim when engage in any enthusiastic cornering.



The motor industry is capable of building vehicles with complex hybrid drive trains and with carbon chassis. My nearest branch of Millets is crammed with high tech fabric clothing, surely, a seat fabric that cools or heats as required, feels good to the touch, and grips you comfortably is not beyond their ability?


SS7

Dubbin'

I'm pleased to report that the search for winter wheels has proved fruitful, and after a mixed track record in this area I even seem to have come up trumps. So here is the Golf. Its a 1997 VR6 Highline, which is the one with airconditioning and leather - in this instance a purple to match the 'Mulberry' paintwork.

Better than that, this is a one owner from new, 30,600 miles examples, that came complete with a 2inch stack of history including the original invoice and brochure...!




The owner looked after car really well, althought he wasn't a polisher it was filthy in and out! However, my once over showed that everything worked, and that apart from a dent in one door, the bodywork was excellent - and even the interior plastics were perfect, saved from the usual u/v ravages by storage in a garage from new. It sailed happily through the MOT, but the rear tyres (fitted in 1998!) need replacing.

I collected it from the owner in Leicestershire, a good 200 mile drive from home. The run home along the M1, A43, A34 and M27 was uneventful, although the continuous rain varied only between drizzle and torrential. The car hummed along showing 32mpg on the 'puter, the ancient VW branded Sony cassette radio worked fine and the a/c pumped out cold, dry air. The only weakpoint was the dampers, which have given up the ghost. On slightly lower springs, even on the short test ride it crached into bumps and lurched on low frequency bumps, but after 3 hours on the motorway it really was all over the place.

Young SS3.5 and I spent a couple of hours cleaning it today; and its all good. Under the dirty rubber mats are the original over-mats, hardly used, and the leather responded to a bit of cleaning. We even got most of the grass out of the boot floor.

In fact, its almost too good to use.....

SS7

Binned

Here's an advert from Pistonheads. Just to remind you, this is the language of Shakespeare, Milton, Shelley, Churchill, Lennon and Beckham. God help us all:

"For Sale: 1994 VW GOLF VR6

Here im selling this golf vr6 for a friend its not my car, its bin a good car and only selling due to not being able to insure on my own policy so it must go as im stil 17.
The car itself isnt standard it has bin lowered and a set of deep dish alloys have bin fitted, also has duel exhaust system and flushed bootlid, kamei grill with mk4 headlights. car is moted til next year but no tax. im awaiting v5 to return but wil supply full reciept. any questions just call me. cheers"

I've got a stiffy....

From press coverage in Road and Track at the time of the Cayman S’s launch:

“Compared with the Boxster, the big difference of course is that the Cayman is a closed car. Porsche engineers have retained the Boxster’s strong floor-pan without modification, with the result that the close car is only 11lb lighter that the comparable Boxster.

On the other hand the Caymans S's torsional stiffness is 2.5 times higher that the Boxster S (which ranks as one of the structurally stiffest contemporary open cars) and only 5% lower that the 997 series Carrera. The beam stiffness is also doubled compared with the roadster’s.”

Keyed Up

When I decided to take KNoB to the office for one last run the other day, I also took the Cayman keys to the garage with me. This was a bit of a fall-back, just in case the poor old thing didn’t start/wouldn’t go/exploded in a ball of flames etc.

At some point, while messing around with KNoB’s keys, the garage door opener, my PC case, phone and waterproof jacket, I put the Cayman key (in its little leather ‘Porsche Zentrum Hamburg’ pouch) on the 924’s rear spoiler.

Later in the day, after returning from work and enjoying one of the dowager Mrs SS7 chillies con-carnes (certificate U), I went out to the garage to wash months of accumulated dust and crud off KNoB.

I’d parked it outside the garage for this purpose.

The first thing I noticed when I approached the car was the Cayman key, still sitting on the rear spoiler…… It had remained there for the whole of the 12 mile journey to work, and the whole of the 12 mile journey back again, as well as 8 hours in the office car-park, and an hour in the drizzle outside the garage.

Sometimes we are blessed by the Gods.